All theano posts

Two weeks ago, Thea seemed to be losing her normal excitement for food so we took her to the doctor, expecting to find out she had some dental issue and learned she had a very aggressive form of lymphoma. The doc recommended palliative care and said she might even have a few good months ahead but, unfortunately, we only got another week. Today we had to say goodbye to her.

I can't begin to express how fortunate we were to be her humans and how much we miss her. She has slept by my side almost every night and kept me company while I work, since the day we adopted her. The emptiness where her playfulness used to be is deafening.

We adopted her in April 2007 and she was unfettered chaos. She destroyed my knitting, tore up books, and earned the moniker, "the stealth pooper," pretty quickly. Even so, it's impossible to think of her adoption as a "rescue" because she was the most loving, playful, outgoing pup from the start and if we hadn't scooped her up, some other lucky family would have.

Thea was a glorious weirdo, unrepentant hussy, and had the most amazing sense of humor. She seemed to always find humor in life and that rubbed off on all of us.

For me, it was love at first sight. I still remember seeing her photo on the rescue site and being instantly smitten. And then we got her and she was ten pounds of trouble in a five-pound sack.

I took this last picture the day she got her diagnosis. Her downturn was fast and unrelenting which was a kindness in its own way. She was unambiguously ready to go when we made the call. But that's all thinky logic stuff and it is doing fuck-all to cut through the grief. I miss her so much and wish I could kiss her head again.

I don't have any good way to wrap this up or the energy to regale you with the many wonderful stories I have about her. I just loved her to pieces and miss her terribly and I can't believe how fast she went from being her sweet goofy self to gone, but I am glad she isn't suffering and that I had so many wonderful years with her.

A very happy birthday to my goodwill ambassador, body guard, comic relief and snuggle monster.

I hope there's another eight years to come.

All pictures taken Friday with her new favorite toy.

Today, my blog turns ten. I was twenty-nine years old when I started it, a relatively recent transplant to Los Angeles, and just learning to designs knitting patterns. My website was three at the time. If you want to take a trip in the way-back machine, you can even see the first version of my site here, though it's nothing more than a splash-screen. For a couple of years, it functioned primarily as an online resume. Then, in 2004, I gave the whole thing a makeover, started offering free patterns, and my blog followed closely behind.

*sniff* They grow up so fast.

I don't think I'd be designing knitting patterns, today, if I hadn't been testing the waters online, at the time I started my site. Ten years ago, very few people even knew what a PDF was. Online purchases were the exception, not the norm. While I enjoyed knitting, if I hadn't been connecting with knitters online, I'm not sure I would have had the community of enthusiastic knitters to encourage me,while I learned from the many mistakes I made along the way.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like if, 13 years ago, Leo hadn't encouraged me to start a site. I wonder what would have happen if we hadn't stopped at Big Sur, on our way to San Francisco where we picked up a couple of cute knit hats at a gift shop, and how things would have been different if Leo hadn't pretended to love the ill-fitting hat I knit for him a few weeks later. I wonder if I would have started offering patterns if the owners of Artfibers hadn't encouraged me along or if knitters had been more disparaging of my mistakes and incomplete patterns. Knowing me, I could have easily been discouraged along the way, which would have been unfortunate, as my circle of fiber arts friends has been wonderful and they have challenged and encouraged me, made me laugh and made me think, and overall, made knitting one of the more rewarding parts of my life.

I don't blog as much as I used to, not for lack of things to say, but because so many of us have connected on social media platforms, where we can interact more directly and more quickly than through blog comments and emails. But I'm pretty sentimental about my blog. It's like handwritten thank-you notes, not something I do as often as I'd like but something I still do for more special occasions. Looking through my RSS aggregator, I see a lot of links to now-defunct blogs from knitters, spinners, crocheters and just all-around interesting people. Perhaps blogs are the pet-rocks of the early 2000s, but I'll be keeping mine going for at least a while more. And, presuming you are on my redesigned blog, and not reading this in an aggregator, or through my old blog, you can find me on a multitude of social media platforms, up there, to the right, under the "Find Me Here" heading. I interact mostly on Facebook, but you'll see me pop up on Twitter and Flickr with some regularity.

If nothing else, you'll get to see more pictures of the pooches.

And a few hummingbirds, too.

If you'll grant me just a little bit more sentimentality, I couldn't end this blog post without thanking those of you who come by my blog, read my posts, leave comments, and/or interact with me online, and knit my patterns. I'm a pretty shy person and would never have connected with so many people if I had to do it in person. I cringe at a lot of my old blog posts (and old patterns) but I wouldn't take any of it back. It's the mortified shoe-box of my late twenties and early thirties and I hope I'll always be able to look back, read through the posts and remember all the remarkable people I've met and experiences I've had.

This year my parents gave me a generous gift certificate to Amazon, for my birthday. Leo and I don't exchange gifts for holidays and life events. If we want to buy something we do so when money permits, at the time it permits, which works for us, but it is nice to still get a little spoiled by your parents, a few times a year.

Ever since my trip to TNNA with Julia, I've been thinking about photography, the limits of my point and shoot and the value of good photography to a pattern. If you compare the quality of the photos in Atalanta to those for Willowherb, even adjusting for different lighting, I think the quality difference is clear. The Atalanta shots, done with a DSLR, are sharper, and have more detail in the shadows and highlights than the Willowherb point and shoot images do. I'm generally not unhappy with my own shoots but I'm not unaware of the limits of a point and shoot, for all but the most ideal lighting situations.

So when my parent's gift arrived, I spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not I wanted to put the money towards a DSLR, some lenses and other accessories. You can't just buy a camera body and call it a day. Will better quality photos do enough for my patterns to offset the money I'll spend? Will I be able to develop the skills necessary to even make use of the new camera? Is this the best use of what little disposable income we have? I don't know the answer to any of those questions but I have a new toy tool now.

Hello pretty bird

Ok, admittedly, these awesome bird shots were taken by Leo. He's pretty good at this photography stuff.

Raindrops keep falling on its head

I'm trying to get the dogs acclimated to the sound and look of the new camera. They are so accustomed to the point and shoot, which is held away from the face and is pretty quite. By comparison, the DSLR is a big noisy affair that obscures my face and sometimes flashes unexpectedly.

Thea gives some serious side-eye

Darwin is not impressed

Why is your face weird, human?

But they seem to be coming around.

My sweet Panda Bear

Getting the new camera on a tripod and trying to get good shots of myself, will be an all new challenge, but one I'm looking forward to. If you have any tips and tricks for making the most of the DSLR, I'd love to hear them. Book and tutorial recommendations are definitely welcomed.

Panda is thirteen years old, today, which is, I think, "lady of a certain age" in dog years. We probably shouldn't even be talking about it. Panda had her yearly vet appointment this week, where she got a clean bill of health. Darwin worried about her the whole time she was with the doc.

Will she ever come back?

Yesterday, we took her to the ocean because, of course we did. She's definitely slowing down but she doesn't enjoy it any less.

She's the only one who likes wading into the deep end. Some of that may have to do with the fact that Thea sinks in water and Darwin couldn't care less about fetch. His primary role is to body check his sisters. He's a real stinker.

Thea also enjoys riding her invisible bicycle.

Some seals watched us playing

And we watched some anemones do their anemone thing.

My anemone's anemone is my friend

Then we ended our evening with some fish and chips. The pups may have gotten a little bit of that too. The birthday celebration continues today. The pups are blissfully mellow, leaving the old lady to relax. Tonight, we'll cook up a little fresh salmon and sneak a little into their food, and of course, there are plenty of belly rubs and snuggles to go around.

Here's to my sweet old lady. If you have a pet, pass along a birthday scritch to him or her, on Panda's behalf.