Le Ann commented in my last post, that she felt my credentials as a woman, exceeded hers, ostensibly because I was working on a sweater for Leo that contains miles of ribbing. Well, this story will either solidify her assertion or, more likely, make her wish to retract her comment.
The evening was like any other; Leo sat at the computer, while I sat 10 feet away, knitting and watching tv. There was a crinkle of a potato chip bag, then several satisfying munches. The conversation was light between us; events of the day and whatnot, so there was no need for constant eye contact. And then I saw it. Panda, tail a wagging, was heading towards a prize. Leo had dropped the largest chip he could find in the bag. Seeing that I had caught him in the act, he prodded Panda on. "Go on, Panda, get the chip." I countered, "Leave it! Don't you eat that chip." The challenge began.
She licked it, but backed away. I swooped in to pick up the offending chip and toss it. With a self-righteous tone I said, "I'll give her a proper doggy cookie." I pull out the bag of Tiny Tots
They smell a little bit like beef jerky and they are fairly soft, almost malleable. Panda finds them delightful. Leo scoffs "Those suck!"
"Oh do they?" I reply, "How would you know, have you ever tried one."
If this were a wild west showdown movie, music would have started playing. Our eyes locked and two very stubborn people sized up the situation. Still holding the bag of treats, Panda placated, I pulled one of the treats out and placed it in front of Leo.
There was a fleeting moment in which his gaze wavered and a look of doubt crossed his face. Then, like a cobra striking, his hand darted out, snatched the treat, and he bit off half, all the while, his eyes never leaving mine. His face was smug while he chewed once, twice, three times and then there was realization. Slowly, his eyes widened and panic set in. Half a cookie still clutched in his hands and most of the other half sloshing between his teeth, he gasp and let out a meek "It's awful!"
He leaped up from his chair and ran to the nearby kitchen sink, spitting and splashing water into his mouth at the same time, I tried to hold back laughter but cannot. He cries "It's stuck in my teeth!" He runs to the bathroom and brushes his teeth for what feels like minutes. I'm laughing so hard, I'm having a bit of trouble holding myself steady, Panda just looks on bemused. I hear a pained “It’s like puke mixed in play-doh!” and it’s all I can do to keep from keeling over from asphyxiation.
This is a moment, not unlike many between Leo and me. We are two very stubborn people and the result is usually that one person eats crow, or in this case, something far worse.
Not two nights later, I was enjoying dinner with my brother and mother. I had an experience that would make any Freudian psychologist dance with glee. Some of you may remember this post from December 2004. Well, my little brother has exceeded his previous goal, and/or, sunk to even deeper depths.
click image for Quicktime movie
Does it bother me that my brother and boyfriend are both willing to put themselves through undue suffering to prove, who knows what? No more so than it bothers me that, politically, they are so similar they could live in the same bomb shelter together, nor that they have the same sardonic sense of humor. I’m sure it should trouble me that their personalities are so similar but I’m resigned to it. Hey, look how much amusement I get out of life. Why change a thing?
Wow. That sounds just like my house. My husband is constantly trying to give the dogs everything from lollypops (they have shared one) to donuts. It's a battle.
I looooove the Solid Gold Tiny Tots and Jerky. (or I should say my dogs love them) They are a tad expensive, but well worth it!
I laughed so hard reading this post! I agree ... don't change anything or you'll miss all this amusement! Spice of life!
For Leo eating the dog cookie, I can understand. Not only for stubborn personality, I think all humans are somewhat curious as to how the food for our pets taste. But your brother? He's insane, no question about that!
HA! You guys would do well in our house. My brother and I are always goading each other on with promises of cash to eat things. My specialty is fitting "the whole thing" in my mouth. My brother's is more of a gross-out thing. (He's eaten dry cat food in a fit of rage before. He was just so mad at losing the Mork and Mindy card game, he just didn't know what else to do with himseff but eat a handful of kibble.)
It gets to a point at some family holidays where my mother is screaming for us to knock it off, he and I are on the floor laughing, and my husband and my dad are just staring in silent disblief.
Good times.
Did he buy a new toothbrush?
OMG, too funny! Why do I feel like this is an episode that may be repeated in my household at some point? Tiny Tots - I'll have to check them out for Dakota!
When I was training Sasha, my first Aussie, one of the things I did was put treats in my mouth so she'd watch my face. Then, when she was looking at me, I'd spit them out to her. Usually we'd use something like hotdogs sliced small, or Charlee Bear dog treats (almost no taste).
But let me tell you now: NEVER slip up and put a dried liver treat in your mouth. It may not be worse than Tiny Tots, but I'm sure it would give them a run for the money.
just when i needed a giggle, you gave it to me. was that WASSABI your brother ate a fistful of? holy cow, no wonder he made s uch faces!
my youngest is that way. i have to be careful with him, sigh.
hiLARious! :)
Marnie, the wasabi video was just too funny and I had to send the link right away to my son. Last year - a year ago this weekend he was on a jazz tour in BC Canada. During their stay in Vancouver he took some of his band members to a sushi parlor. He's been eatting sushi since before he could walk but a couple of the guys had never had it. So in a ceremony of sushi hazing, he told one of the guys that before you eat sushi the very first time you have to do a wasabi bomb. You guessed it!!! And he has a video of it too!
I've always wanted to try my dog's treats. I want to know what all the fuss is about...why he damn near tears off some finger when i offer them to him.
Um, i don't think i want to now. *lol*
My dog, Dusty, never understood sarcasm.
This post was hysterical! I laughed so hard over that video. Oh, men!
I have tears in my eyes from laughter. This is very reminiscent of The Sneeze and Don't Eat It Steve! Perhaps Leo should be a guest blogger over there. He certainly has the credentials. Although Moxie is stubborn his sense of self-preservation is stronger than Leo's. He would have gotten me to eat it if I said the treat tasted good!
My husband and I are big sushi fans...I am actually afraid to show him that video, because you KNOW what will happen...
The dog cookie. Oh, Leo. You deserve every fit of apoplectic laughter you elicit, my friend.
My comment stands, Marnie...the fact that you did not wet yourself laughing totally proves my point. ;-)
The post was entertaining. The video was priceless.
The dog treat - oh my god, I cried, I laughed so hard. I tried to read it out loud and failed utterly. "puke and playdough"--oh, the humanity...
thanks for the laugh!
Very good reading. Peace until next time.
WaltDe