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Name:Marnie MacLean
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Why I'm glad I'm a woman

By Marnie MacLean

Leo, Matt and I all love sushi and we don't shy away from the wasabi. In fact, we all enjoy it in large quantities, even when it brings some amount of pain to us. Alas, a bit too much sake and some well timed ribbing appears to bring out the stupid in my otherwise bright little brother.

Take, for example, last night. My cousins(male) have a game in which they take pea sized amounts of wasabi, wrap them in pickled ginger and then eat them. The ante is upped a bit until the supply of remaining wasabi is depleted. While Leo and I have enjoyed a this game in the past, we've kept some semblance of restraint.

Matt threw restraint to the wind and ventured over to the side of insanity. Take a look at our time lapsed photos below:

Here is the quantity of wasabi in question. Note that this pile is only a hair smaller than the sake cup to the left.

Here we see Matt prepping himself for the act. At no point was he deluded about just how painful this would be. I would also like to note that none of us told him to do this, he did it of his own accord.

Here is the first chew. Note the slight smile. It says "This doesn't hurt so bad. Perhaps this will be easy. Yes, I am the man, I am THE MAN."

"Or am I?" This is the moment of deep, deep regret. We see here that Matt is desperately tapping his chopsticks while trying to remain calm. The expression says "What the @#&@ was I thinking? There isn't even a woman here to impress. Why would I do this?"

How can a physics major be this stupid?

Like all painful events, eventually one must come to acceptance. Indeed, Matt is a stupid person and here we see that he has acknowledged this. This expression says "Yes, this pain will likely go on forever but I am resigned to it. I deserve it and no amount of pleading can save me now."

I suspect he is attempting to keep all internal parts of his head in their proper place. Those who love wasabi know it's a burn that travels. I believe it's targeting the long-term memory at this point.

Matt takes several steps backward at this point in his progress. Note that he is trying to say that he is not having a problem. He is fine. This is classic denial.

And this, of course was the last moment before he lost all remnants of human existence and spontaneously combusted. We all miss him.

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